My Big Little Man

I thought I'd take a break from doing life to let you know how my little man Seth is doing.  The answer is GREAT.  But here are some details.

About a month ago, we started potty training.  After the first couple of weeks, he got his "reward" which was rollerskates.  How excited he was.  :)

But it wasn't really over.  While he was making great headway and I thought he deserved a reward, he wasn't "there" yet.  In the last couple of weeks, he has really gotten the hang of it.  He tells me *almost* every time he has to go.  When I'm really lucky, he goes by himself, which happens more everyday.  And he wakes up from naps and most overnights totally DRY.  Praise the Lord!  I'm so proud of my guy.  I know he may be late in the grander scheme of things, but based on who Seth is, I couldn't be happier.

Last Monday, we visited a new doctor for Seth.  She works at The Mind Eye Connection.  I took him because I'm hoping to get Seth seeing as well as we can and processing life better.  It was a great appointment with a really interesting doctor.  I learned a lot.  In a way, it was hard to sit there and watch Seth not be able to do things that I KNOW Leah (a year younger) could do without hesitation.  Such are his issues.  But rather than let fear creep in, I am trying to face into the fear and find solutions.  Hopefully we did. 

The doctor reports that Seth has major sensory processing issues.  This is not a surprise to anyone who knows him.  His whole life is pretty big -- or pretty small -- depending on the situation.  Where a "normal" child is able to process multiple lines of input and provide a response, Seth can only process about two things at once.  That explains conversations that go like this:

Me:     "How old are you, Seth?"

Seth:   "How old are you?"

Me:     "No, really.  How old are you?"

Seth:    "No, really. How old are you?"

If Seth can't immediately access the place where that answer lies, he can't answer it and his path of least resistance is to repeat it.  Incessantly.  This can be very frustrating for people trying to communicate with Seth, but it's not his fault.  It also explains why people have asked me more than once if he is hard of hearing or deaf.  Nope.  Seth simply "shuts off" his ears when there are too many other inputs for him to handle.  The doctor we saw made clear that Seth's issues are not intelligence or creativity.  She said he is very smart and creative.  (Yay!)  But until we can help him with processing, we are going nowhere fast.  The doctor also said that she typically sees people like Seth after they've started school and have problems.  Makes sense, but I am hyper mom.  :)  We're early!

So we're off to figure out if we can get him a bit of extra help with all the data he receives in this fast-paced world of ours.  Either way, the take-away for me on Monday was that Seth is doing great and that we have two and a half years to get him ready to be in school and, Lord willing, we will have these issues solved by then.  The doctor thinks it's possible and she doesn't even know my GOD! 

Lord Jesus, we again give you Seth with all of his glorious and sometimes painful issues.  We pray that You will use this doctor to make life a little easier for Seth.  I also pray that you will use this challenge to refine him and draw him closer to You.  We love you, Jesus.  Amen.

Last but not least, here is a little glimpse at what's known as "pure joy."  What was it?  Simply a new Chuggington featuring a rolling, bouncing and (apparently) very funny bolder.  *sigh*  <3 

Attachment

Last summer, while I was in the process of deciding whether to adopt Leah and then while we were all praying her home, I spent a great deal of time trying to identify the issues that might arise when bringing a toddler home. While Leah could hardly be considered an "older child" adoption, my only experience was with Seth who I picked up from the hospital at birth. One of the obvious issues is attachment and I set out to read as much as I could on the topic. From articles to books to Internet sites and blogs, I soaked it all in and prayed "that" would not be our cross. Last week, we went to the Erickson Institute to discuss attachment, among other things, in my continuing quest to make sure that I give Leah the best start I can.

Since we picked up Leah from the orphanage, I've tried to implement some of the things I learned in my reading about attachment. I didn't enforce the "no one may help her but me" rule that many books suggest, but I did spend lots of time holding her and playing with her. We bathed, rocked, and snuggled. Together. We still do. Our Angel made great suggestions and I used many of them.

Yesterday was my first day back to work after a generous maternity leave. Hard. For me. I got home at about 5:30 and Leah lost it. She cried for the next hour and I was NOT allowed to put her down. She rallied later but went to bed upset. This morning, as I struggled to get ready for day two, she wailed. "Hold you!!! Hold you!!!!". I furiously tried to throw my clothes on and look presentable so I had time to oblige. Then Eveline arrived. Leah sobbed. She clung to me with her arm tightly wrapped around my neck, begging me not to go. Wrenching. But I had to.

When Eveline peeled her off my neck (yea, that was fun), I ran upstairs for final preparations. And took a deep sigh. This isn't easy. Few things in life really are.  But I rejoiced on the inside, knowing that some of my family's hard work is paying off and Leah has attached. No, it's not a "done deal" and I will continue to seek help as we need it to give her the best life possible. But Leah is well on her way and is strongly a Steiner. Praise the Lord! And yet, my heart hurts. . . .   :)

Must Reads

I don't often highlight other blogs but today, there are two must reads.

First, my friend Keren (our Angel) has been blogging about Leah's former orphanage.  It is heart-breaking.  It requires ALL of us to get on our knees.  Beg God for these children and for redemption of a place that is horrific for those babies.  Lord, get them OUT.  You can read more here and here.

Next, you should read a post by No Greater Joy Mom who writes about complete transformation for one of her children's birth families.  It will stun you.  God is HUGE.

Check it out here.

Both such great examples of how much we need God and how He can absolutely work beyond our wildest imaginations.

My little helper

Since bringing her home, Leah has become more and more "helpful." She tries to change her diaper. She wants to wash the dishes. And cut her own food. And sweep the floor. And clean the litter box. And wash her cloths, clean the toilet, make her bed, dress Seth, and just about every other adult activity you could dream up. It's cute, but it also greatly slows down the process of getting anything done around here. (Sigh)  I wonder sometimes how much of it is Leah trying to control something, anything, in her environment since she was for so long without control (in some ways) and in complete control (in other ways). 

Leah's very "helpful" nature these days got me thinking about my relationship with Jesus. I think anyone who has been a parent for a while sees the connections between parenting and our relationship with God.  I wonder how often God sighs and wonders when I will let go of my strangle hold and allow Him to work. I wonder if He wants me to let go of control so His glory can be shown. I wonder, even, if He could work miracles faster in my life if I could just. let. go.  I wonder. 

Trust does not come easy for me. On the surface, it may appear I trust easily and quickly, but the truth is that I am much more comfortable controlling what's going on in my world. Or thinking I'm controlling it. Sigh (again).   So just like a year ago with the puddle, I find myself amazed at how like a two year old I am. Wanting to control things so I feel safe.  Wanting to "help" God work when it's the last thing He needs. Wanting to "make" my life what I want rather than waiting on God to speak.  And then when He does speak, or nudge, or move, I find myself wondering how that could possibly be right.  Oh brother.

Don't get me wrong; it's sometimes hard for me to know the difference between my inner most desires and God's voice. But the closer I am to Him, the easier it is to know the difference and the better I am at waiting and taking my hands off the wheel.  As I grow and learn and walk this walk of faith, I pray it becomes even easier to know His voice.  More of You; less of me, Lord.

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song." Psalm 28:7

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."  Psalm 37:5-6

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You."  Psalm 56:3

My little "helper"

As a single mom, some things are more challenging than others.  For example, I have to shower.

Really, I do.

It's not okay to skip too often.

But when no one is here, that can be a dicey proposition.  Especially for my little princess.  Leah Grace often showers with me.  She loves it and it's good bonding.  But then there are those times when I must do it alone.

Like today.

Thinking I was a brilliant person, I moved the kids' kitchen into the living room which we often do when we are "cooking."  I thought, "This will keep them busy while I *quickly* get it done."  Little did I know.....

Leah loves avocados; we learned this in Uganda.

LOVES.

So when I was taking a shower today, she got busy.

I came back down and found this.

Yes, that's my little princess using the "knife" of her kitchen set to open a ripe avocado.  On the floor.  And oh so proud of herself.  *sigh*

Today (so far) she has also done the laundry with me, washed the toilet with her hand (thank God I had just cleaned it with bleach), and attempted to change her poopy diaper without my assistance resulting in this:

She ran from me for about 10 minutes so I couldn't clothe her and then she started posing for the camera.  Oh dear....

Yea, baby got BACK.  ;)



Anyway, just a picture of our day to help you giggle with us.  More to come on what I think God may be teaching me through the mayhem....

Blizzard Alert!

(How in the world did I convince them to do THAT????)

Yea, that was me.  I was the one.  The one who said "I'll believe it when I see it."

So this morning, I had to eat those words.

Our back door (that opens onto a covered deck that 'never' takes on snow) wouldn't open.  Um, I have a dog that needs to go out....

After I got over the shock (and pushed our way out), we had to go out and play.

Seth liked this idea better when we were inside.  :) 

Leah actually liked it today!! 

Seth is very helpful. 

Gee, snow is delicious! 

So then I attempted to open the front door and couldn't so I had to go around from the back which resulted in wading through 4-5 foot drifts (literally).  I managed to dig out our first step so we could get out if we needed to.  But it's far from perfect.

What a blast!!