Seth was adopted in 2007 when I was just about to turn 37 years old. How does a never-been-married Christian lawyer end up adopting a bi-racial baby boy? Here's the short story.
My two brothers were adopted. Dave was adopted at 2.5 years old (I was 5) and Joel was adopted a year later at 9 months old. Because of our experience as a multicultural family, I knew from a very young age that I wanted to adopt. When I got my Sunshine Family Dolls (did anyone else have those???) I wanted the black family. Mom, dad, baby, grandma, and grandpa. All with beautiful brown skin. I was under 10 years old. I think the idea of racially blended families started young for me.
But never, oh never, did I think that I would adopt before I was married. That seemed crazy and impossible. Even when my friend and mentor suggested it, I wasn't open to it. Until God began to work my heart over in my mid-30s. I started to think and pray and read and research. Pretty soon, I let my family in on it. And we all prayed and wrestled and debated. And dreamed.
By early 2007, I filled out an application that I submitted at the end of March. In April and May, my home study was completed and in July, I received my foster care license (required in Illinois). My profile (Dear Birth Mom letter) was shown beginning in August 2007 and that month, a mom saw my profile and was interested.
In September, while in Mexico with my best buds Julie and Holt, I got the call. My social worker, Noreen, said that a birth mom was interested in picking me to be the mother of her baby and I should call her. Wuh hoo! After a quick call back home to Noreen, I learned a few details. Birth mom was expecting a boy on November 9 -- in just six weeks!! As I hung up the phone, the hysteria began. I called my sister and my mom and then (after screaming and celebrating with Jules) I proceeded to call just.about.everyone.I.know. From Mexico. Helllllloooo big phone bill. Nice. :)
When I got home, my friends threw me a last minute shower where I got every last thing I needed -- and more. And after a few moments of wondering whether Seth's birth father wanted to parent, on November 14, "Camron" arrived. I met him on November 16 while he was baking under the lights and later that day, he became Seth Cameron Steiner, my son. Two days old and perfect as can be.
Throughout his adoption, I prayed that I would "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation and constant in prayer." Romans 12:12. This is his life verse.
Our first meeting:
And today (2013):
Love.
But that story doesn't even tell the whole story.
See, since I was single, I thought I was "owed" the healthy child.
No drugs, alcohol or abuse.
Prenatal care.
Healthy mom.
And, strangely, I got all of that.
But what I didn't get was the perfectly normal child.
Seth has hypoplastic optic nerves, global developmental delays, nystagmus in his eyes, strabismus, and a host of other eye related issues.
Before he was three years old, he had two years of therapies, four times a week.
We see an endless list of specialists (ENT, Neurologist, endocrinologist, optometrist, ophthalmologist....) and Seth has made four trips under general anesthesia.
Dang!
But without boring you through all of the details, Seth is mine. He is my perfectly designed son -- straight from heaven. And without Seth, there would be no Leah because it was Seth that forced me (at times, kicking and screaming) to consider adopting a child with HIV. Blessed I am.....
My two brothers were adopted. Dave was adopted at 2.5 years old (I was 5) and Joel was adopted a year later at 9 months old. Because of our experience as a multicultural family, I knew from a very young age that I wanted to adopt. When I got my Sunshine Family Dolls (did anyone else have those???) I wanted the black family. Mom, dad, baby, grandma, and grandpa. All with beautiful brown skin. I was under 10 years old. I think the idea of racially blended families started young for me.
But never, oh never, did I think that I would adopt before I was married. That seemed crazy and impossible. Even when my friend and mentor suggested it, I wasn't open to it. Until God began to work my heart over in my mid-30s. I started to think and pray and read and research. Pretty soon, I let my family in on it. And we all prayed and wrestled and debated. And dreamed.
By early 2007, I filled out an application that I submitted at the end of March. In April and May, my home study was completed and in July, I received my foster care license (required in Illinois). My profile (Dear Birth Mom letter) was shown beginning in August 2007 and that month, a mom saw my profile and was interested.
In September, while in Mexico with my best buds Julie and Holt, I got the call. My social worker, Noreen, said that a birth mom was interested in picking me to be the mother of her baby and I should call her. Wuh hoo! After a quick call back home to Noreen, I learned a few details. Birth mom was expecting a boy on November 9 -- in just six weeks!! As I hung up the phone, the hysteria began. I called my sister and my mom and then (after screaming and celebrating with Jules) I proceeded to call just.about.everyone.I.know. From Mexico. Helllllloooo big phone bill. Nice. :)
When I got home, my friends threw me a last minute shower where I got every last thing I needed -- and more. And after a few moments of wondering whether Seth's birth father wanted to parent, on November 14, "Camron" arrived. I met him on November 16 while he was baking under the lights and later that day, he became Seth Cameron Steiner, my son. Two days old and perfect as can be.
Throughout his adoption, I prayed that I would "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation and constant in prayer." Romans 12:12. This is his life verse.
Our first meeting:
And today (2013):
But that story doesn't even tell the whole story.
See, since I was single, I thought I was "owed" the healthy child.
No drugs, alcohol or abuse.
Prenatal care.
Healthy mom.
And, strangely, I got all of that.
But what I didn't get was the perfectly normal child.
Seth has hypoplastic optic nerves, global developmental delays, nystagmus in his eyes, strabismus, and a host of other eye related issues.
Before he was three years old, he had two years of therapies, four times a week.
We see an endless list of specialists (ENT, Neurologist, endocrinologist, optometrist, ophthalmologist....) and Seth has made four trips under general anesthesia.
Dang!
But without boring you through all of the details, Seth is mine. He is my perfectly designed son -- straight from heaven. And without Seth, there would be no Leah because it was Seth that forced me (at times, kicking and screaming) to consider adopting a child with HIV. Blessed I am.....
