Chosen Ones: Seth

Showing posts with label Seth. Show all posts

January 4, 2019

Co-Sleeping

It was 1:30 a.m. I felt the persistent head bump of Hazel telling me that she needed to go outside. I tried to ignore her, but she wasn’t having any of that.

I peeled myself off the bed and carefully fell away from the bed, tip-toeing out of the room, down the hall and downstairs, three dogs in tow. I was downstairs for less than a minute when I heard him. First, he groaned. Then, I heard his feet shuffle across the floor. And the crying started.

I grabbed a drink and hurried up the dogs so I could run back upstairs. I hit the landing and saw him down the hall. He was leaning against the wall, face in his hands, sobbing. I whispered to him, desperately trying to keep him from waking up everyone, as I hurriedly grabbed him and guided him back to bed.

“Why did you leave me?” he sobbed.

Oh baby, love, I just took the dogs out. That’s all. You’re okay.

As I cradle him in my arms, he falls back to sleep.

Seth has slept with me for years. I’m not even sure how long it has been. He used to sleep in his room… in his bed. But several years back, he started coming to my room a couple of hours after falling asleep. And a couple of years after that, he invited himself to sleep with me, full time.

And this is a real thing. He cannot and will not sleep without me, even when I have to be away for work. He will sleep with my mom and, sometimes, with a nanny, but for the most part, I have to be home if I want Seth to sleep. We go to bed together; we get up together. I sleep early if I want him to go to bed. I remain frozen in my spot if I want him to sleep in. A combination of his anxiety plus some legit fears means he’s not going anywhere, any time soon.

Sure, I would love to sleep alone and stretch out my tired bones and sleep without his over-sized 11 year old, five foot two, 100 pound body placed firmly next to me (or on me). But for now, we are a co-sleeping family, and it is what it is.

This means I am often rushing home in order to literally put my children to bed, but mostly, to put Seth to bed. With me.

Having grace for me and my Seth around this issue is needed and wanted. It’s not an excuse and it’s not made up. This is who we are. This is who Seth is.

December 9, 2014

Heard Around Our 'Hood -- Boys will be Boys

Last night at dinner, we were sharing highs and lows from our day.

Zechariah said, tears cracking in his voice, "My low is: today, someone called me ugly."

Naturally, I immediately flew into protection mode, telling Zechariah that not only is that ridiculous because he is a gorgeous human being but that the joy that radiates from his heart makes him even more handsome.

But as I spoke, I was cut off.

Seth broke in and asked, "Who said that?"

What happened next is one of those moments where I just had to step back, stifle laughter, and watch as my children, these siblings, became love.

Seth explained to Zechariah how he was going to hunt down this fourth or fifth grader, and he was going to take-him-down. Yes, that's right. Seth is going to beat up that bad boy and teach him a lesson. And I smiled.

I don't condone fighting. Heck, we are practically pacifists over here. In that moment, though, Zechariah needed outrage. He needed his brother. Seth came through with brilliant colors and the bond between those two knuckleheads was even further strengthened.

Ah, boys will be boys.

October 27, 2014

Heard Around Our 'Hood . . . the Catch Up edition

My children do not lack for hilarity in what they have to say; their Momma lacks in time to write it down! Here are some from the last few months:

I don't want to forget how Seth calls white people "blank." He and Zechariah talk about their teachers as "brown skinned" or "blank." It's awesome.

When Seth saw this post, he asked me why he was blank when he was born. Love it!

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The boys and I also had the birds and the bees conversation last week. Okay, well not the TOTAL birds and bees, but part of it.

Both of them are curious about kissing on the mouth because of one little scene on their Lego Batman game. I have heard them talking endlessly about this scene and decided it was time to chat.

After I tucked them in, I asked to speak with them together. Seth, in his bed, and Zechariah joined me along side. As soon as I said I wanted to talk about mouth kissing, Seth went under the covers and Zechariah turned his back toward me and looked away.

I explained to them that kissing is a beautiful thing that men and women do with each other to express their love. I told them God made it feel good and that they would like it one day. I also told them that it's not for little boys; it's for people in their 20s (hey, I can dream). I said that one day, they would fall in love and want to kiss a girl on the mouth. Last, I explained that the way mommies and their babies kiss is very different than romantic kissing.

Zechariah didn't say one word and ran out when I was done.

Not.one.word.

Seth informed me that he IS in love and that he IS getting married. He didn't then say he was allowed to kiss anyone, but oh lawd help me if he starts trying to kiss his "girlfriend."

Conversation number one: handled.

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Zechariah has such a big heart and a few times recently, I've been reminded of just how big:

One morning, before school, I gave Zechariah $2 for something he had helped with (a type of allowance he earned). As he ate breakfast, I noticed that he kept the money with him. I was puzzled, thinking he would have run it up to his piggy bank immediately, but I didn't say anything. Breakfast finished, and I assumed he would take it upstairs so I forgot about it.

As the kids were leaving out the front door, I noticed that Zechariah still had his $2 in his hand and said, "Honey, why don't you leave that here so it doesn't get lost; run it up to your piggy bank."

Zechariah told me that, instead, he intended to donate it to something they are raising funds for at school. I mean, of course he is! Such a big heart. AMAZING.

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Also recently, the boys gave a baby sitter a particularly difficult time at bedtime. I scolded them when I got home {yes, they were still up} and told them there would be no playing on the Wii the following {weekend} day.

Two days later, Zechariah came up to me with tears in his eyes and said, "Momma, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for giving Megan a hard time."

Suffice it to say, I grabbed him and hugged him. I told him OF COURSE I forgive him. One hundred {thousand} times yes.

Ah, my oldest is such a blessing!!

February 18, 2014

All about Seth

Seth has been having a hard time in school. According to his teacher, that may be an understatement. Since we don't have a neuro-psych exam scheduled for a few more months, we are trying a variety of other "fixes" to the issues in the classroom. One is the smiley chart. It's a chart that allows him to get a smile, neutral or frowny face for any of 36 different activities during his school day. It's rigorous and probably too much (frankly) but we are trying it.

The first few days of the chart were a mixed bag. Some smiles for sure, a bunch of "a-ok" faces and some frownies too. Seth and I would review the chart at night and discuss how we could potentially improve on the number of smiles.

Imagine my surprise when, on February 13 -- just seven school days after starting the chart -- Seth comes home with this:

In case you can't see it, he got all smilies. ALL SMILEYS. Prior to that day, we had discussed that the first time he got no frownies, we would have a Steiner Pig Out. I figured at some point, he would get a bunch of A-Ok and a bunch of smiles and we would celebrate. I had no idea he would get ALL smiles! So celebrate we did!

First we had a pig-out, which consists of ice cream for dinner. We also had some chips, just for good measure.