Showing posts with label Race. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Race. Show all posts

August 20, 2014

Going There

I haven’t wanted to say anything . . . mostly because I don’t know what to say.  Instead, I find myself sitting alone at night, wondering how in the world I can raise three children with beautiful brown skin – two of them boys – in a world where we so clearly judge people based on the color of their skin, sometimes even “to death.”

I have heard from some African-American believers that they are angry over the relatively few Christian white people who are willing to “go there” in discussions about race in this country:  Michael Brown, Ferguson, Trayvon Martin, and a host of other facially racial issues have been widely reported by the media in the last couple of years but resulted in painfully little Christian discourse.  I’m writing in solidarity with many other believers who are now #goingthere.

As a parent of nonwhite children, I am tired of hearing that racism against black people in this country has been eradicated.  It’s simply not true.  Yes, we have a black president – more specifically, about 50% of Americans who voted cast a vote for a black man.  Does that fact mean that we are “beyond” race as an issue in this country?  Not even close

Michael Brown is dead.  I have no idea what was in the mind of the officer who shot him.  I don’t know him; I haven’t interviewed him.  But there are some known facts around this situation that we can discuss. Michael Brown is a black man; the shooting officer is a white man.  Five witnesses with no relationship to one another (and only one of whom was with Michael Brown) have provided witness statements to the press.  Every single one of them said that Michael Brown was running away from the officer after the initial exchange by the officer’s car.  Every single one of them reports that Michael Brown turned around and put his hands in the air when he realized the officer was in pursuit.  It is undisputed that Michael Brown was not armed.  It’s hard to imagine what could have happened (even in the worst case scenario) for an officer to chase down and kill a surrendering suspect who was running away, unarmed, and then put his hands in the air.  I just can’t swallow it.

Some of my white brethren have asked why “we” {presumably, people who see this as potentially a racially motivated shooting} refuse to give the white officer the benefit of the doubt.  I’ll respond to that more below, but before I do, I’d like to ask the other {unasked} question which is this:  Why are we unwilling to give five independent eye witnesses the benefit of the doubt?  Or even {heaven forbid} believe them without question?  Could it be because all five of the witnesses are black?  Amidst the cries for us not to assume too much about the officer before the investigation is complete, where is the support of numerous witnesses who have clearly stated that Michael Brown was in a surrender position when he was killed?  I believe that as much of the outrage over his death is about Michael Brown, it may well be equally about our refusal to listen to people who are telling us – clearly – that this was an unwarranted shooting.  Instead, we question and we wring our hands and we search for {nonexistent} inconsistencies within the eye witness stories.  Sigh.  I’d be angry too.  I am angry.  #goingthere

Here’s what I am not saying.  I am not saying that the officer had some deep seeded anger against or hatred toward black people or black men.  {Maybe he did; more likely he didn’t}  I am not saying that he woke up that day and decided to kill someone.  I am not even saying that the officer had a conscious thought about the color of Mr. Brown’s skin when he encountered him.  It is quite possible that the officer saw two men on the road and approached them as he would have any other person.  What I am saying is that racism is insidious.  It can operate without us knowing or being aware of it.  At its root, racism is fear.  Fear of the difference.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of what might be or could be.  Perhaps that fear (without even being a conscious fear) drove the officer to react more strongly than he otherwise would have.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that it isn’t very often we hear about police officers killing unarmed white men while walking down the street.  And that concerns me.

It doesn’t really matter whether the Michael Brown shooting was race-based.  Let me explain.  What we have learned since his death is that people who live in the community where he was shot feel racism in their lives, every day.  And that’s where the discourse needs to take place.  We have a problem in this country with people who don’t have white skin.  We have to own that reality before we will be able to get anywhere in this “debate.” 

We view beauty as light {white}, straight hair, small features, and scrawny thin bodies.  That description leaves out a huge number of our {beautiful} fellow Americans with brown skin, pronounced features, and curvy bodies.  What a shame!  What would happen if we started to talk with our children openly about the beauty of all of God’s creation:  sizes, shapes, and colors.  Just like we are quick to tell our little girls that they “can be anything when they grow up,” what if we stopped being afraid to talk about race and instead embraced that our differences are our strength and make us more beautiful and powerful?

I have resisted writing about the topic of race very often because I know the opposition is strong.  Most of us don’t want to hear about it and many more don’t want to read about it.  But until we are unafraid to have the hard conversations, nothing in this country will change.  Today I’m faced with the prospect of talking to my children about the current state of race relations in this country and I have no idea what I will say.  It kills me to have to tell them about slavery or worse, that judgments are still made based on the color of their skin.  What do I tell them about being followed in a store?  Or about interactions with police?  Or about their beauty in the face of constant messaging to the contrary {even as my daughter tries desperately to straighten her hair}?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that I’m ready to go there and have the difficult conversations about race that will ultimately make our country stronger.  Are you going with me?  #GoingThere

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#goingthere is a trending hashtag related to Christians speaking out about race

June 28, 2010

Race in the U.S.

I have had some interesting discussions and thoughts on race in America lately. I thought I would share some of those thoughts, mostly because I'm interested in getting more resources from anyone who might be reading!
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To begin, I receive tons of emails from my adoption attorney here in Chicago, providing articles and book reviews and gatherings of other multi-cultural families. It has allowed me to stay up to date on issues and thoughts (some of which I agree with and others, not so much). A few months ago, I got an article that was discussing the way we talk to non-white children about their future. The author made the point that, when raising little girls, we repeatedly tell them that they "can be anything they want to be" when they grow up. See, we aren't afraid of gender. The boy/girl distinctions are ones that we are comfortable discussing and even confronting.
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But it is different with race. The referenced study showed that parents of non-white children are much less likely to talk with their child about their potential in life (unlike in the gender distinctions). The author made the point that we are afraid (read: terrified) to point out and discuss race. Hmmm. I think she has a point.
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Right after I read that, I started to talk to Seth about his beautiful brown skin and mommy's peach colored skin. He looked me like I was crazy, but I know it's all sinkin' in there somewhere! I want Seth to know that his skin is beautiful and that he can "be" whatever he wants when he grows up!
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Then, I had a great conversation with my friend, Kathy, about race. We discussed how it is a good first step when our kids say, "Mom, the color of their skin doesn't matter," but it's only a first step. See, unfortunately, the color of your skin DOES matter in this country. Still. Even with a black President. It matters. So how do we go the next step with our kids?
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I started reading "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla -- Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World" by Marguerite A. Wright. I'm only 40 pages in (so I can't completely endorse it yet) but there is a quote I want to share:
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"Make no mistake: this book would not be necessary were racism irrelevant. Since racism remains very much a fact of U.S. society, responsible parents and caregivers need to reduce its impact on the development of the children they love and care for. Tragically, when they misjudge children's responses to "racial" issues by relying on their own adult views, they run the risk of magnifying the significance of race problems in their children's lives and of reducing their children's initially high capacity to handle these issues in positive ways as they mature."
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Based on my reading of the first few chapters of this book, she is right! We think when a two year old says he "wants to be white" that we have failed to identify with his race, when in reality the child does not understand race identity and may want to be white because he just spent time with his best friend, wearing a white shirt!
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Lord, help me to teach Seth (and any future kiddos) appropriate beliefs about race and loving people the way Jesus would. Help me to protect him from racists views and to comfort him when he is hurt. Thank you for creating us beautifully in our skin -- no matter what color. Amen.