While it is difficult, as an adoptive mama, to see
adoption under fire, the criticisms being lobbied at the business of adoption have
merit. They didn't spring up out of nowhere
and they aren't “made-up, over-reactions to isolated incidents.” No, these criticisms are the product of years
of well-tread experiences across numerous countries in every corner of the
world. The criticisms are born out of
true stories of abuses, corruption and greed.
Recently, one my friends hired a private
investigator to search for the biological mother of her adopted child. Expecting to find nothing or, perhaps,
distant relatives of her child who was allegedly abandoned, she instead found someone
who may actually be the birth mother of her child, placed for adoption at a
young age. This adoptive mother is
experiencing all sorts of different emotions.
Having been deceived about her child’s background, she feels angry. She is also sad for the loss her child has
and will continue to experience – the loss of the First Family. She is devastated for the birth mother who
was (apparently) duped into relinquishing her child. Adoption fraud results in pain for everyone
involved.
And her story is not unique. From Vietnam to Guatemala to China to Ethiopia
and beyond, the corruption associated with International adoption is not new.
I have two children who were adopted from
Uganda. They are not biologically
related and have different stories that led to their adoption. In 2010 when I met her, my daughter was at a
then-prominent orphanage in Kampala.
Because of her HIV positive status, she was overlooked by the orphanage
and considered “unadoptable.” Nevertheless,
I pursued and subsequently completed Leah’s adoption. Afterward, a friend of mind was able to get
me a full copy of Leah’s file from the orphanage.
During my first trip to Uganda, I learned that in Uganda
and other developing countries, children may be placed in orphanages by their
biological family for temporary financial relief but not so that they are
available for International adoption.
This means that when you visit an orphanage, not all of the children may
actually be orphans and many may not be legally available for adoption. Having learned that, I took a deeper look
into Leah’s orphanage file. I was told
that Leah had been abandoned at birth and no family could be identified. Instead of corroborating that, Leah’s file
contains a letter from someone purporting to be a relative. Unfortunately, no one followed up on the
letter to determine its validity. There are
also other documents in Leah’s file, identifying potential relatives of Leah
and where they might be found. But the orphanage did nothing to contact or
reach out to these individuals.
So like many people before me, I embark on a journey
to look for Leah’s biological family, braced for whatever and, dare we hope, whoever we may find. I've hired a team in Uganda who I trust who
will trace the open leads – finally, over four years later – in hopes of
learning more about my Leah and her extended first family. I don’t do this so I can add to the chorus of
people disenfranchised with adoption. I’m doing it for Leah. She needs to know her roots and her life and
her family and her everything. We don’t
know what we will learn, but we proceed in faith. Will
you cover us in prayer as we go?
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