The most recent "Seth-ism" is "I'm tired about that". He proclaims "I'm tired about that" whenever he's done. Like after we hit about six houses trick-or-treating at Halloween. Or when I've lectured him for too long. Or when he doesn't want to be obedient in a request from mom... I'm tired about that.
Like the "why's", I've realized that I'm also tired about a lot of things. I'm tired of looking for a job. I'm tired of living "alone." I'm tired of being single. I'm tired of feeling lonely. I'm tired of cleaning, organizing and decorating this house I want to sell. I'm tired of inconsiderate people. I'm tired of fretting about finances. I'm tired of worrying about preschools for my kids. I'm tired of theology. I'm tired of subtle (and not so subtle) racism. I'm tired of politics and presidential races. I'm tired of health issues, behavior issues and life issues. I'm tired of injustice, hatred and selfishness. I'm just tired.
Some might say that I'm in a funk. And maybe I am. But I think it goes deeper than that. There is a part of me that is, quite simply, longing for Home. Because let's face it: this life can be hard. Really hard. And unfair. And exhausting. Most of those things aren't going to change anytime soon -- at least the ones that aren't temporal. We are all broken and we get in each others way with our brokenness. All the time.
So until I get replenished (Lord, soon) I'm tired. And I'm waiting for our Lord to save us from each other. And ourselves. Come, Lord Jesus, come.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
3 comments:
So is it odd that I find comfort being around and other cracked or broken people...ok I'll admit it, if i'm helping someone with their gongshow it takes the focus off mine lol I can't figure out if thats selfish or not : ) In the meantime don't lose fact that you are a good momma (even tired)
It is when we are tired or weak -and we admit it - that God tends to do a mighty work in us. Praying for you during your season of tiredness. This too shall pass (but that doesn't make it easier).
Praying that you can find time for rest. You do have a lot on your plate. If nothing else, C4C will be a great chance for a little renewal in a few weeks :)
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