One of the first things that Leah learned when she came home was how to get love from Mama. For example, if you brush your finger across the dresser, simply yell, "Owie!" and trot your finger over to Mommy for a kiss. These days, I think I kiss about 200 "owies" a day. Happily. I try not to think about those days when Leah had owies much worse than any we have seen here and no one to kiss them. I can't imagine long days in a crib, with no one holding you. It's no wonder so many adopted kids have flat heads. Ugh. So I happily kiss, kiss, and kiss all of the owies, since Leah is relishing the fact that she has someone who will.
Seth, on the other hand, has had that kind of attention since day one. I've always held him when he's sad and snuggled him when he needs me or is sick. Recently, Seth has had a new request when he goes to bed. "Mommy, snuggle tight." See, I have learned that it's not enough for me to lay next to him and be physically present in his space. He wants me to "snuggle tight" against him. Sometimes he says "with two hands." It is so sweet and breaks my heart every time. When I hear it, or when the snuggle request comes, I simply snuggle tight and don't ask questions. :)
Aren't we grownups also like that? Even at 40 years old, there are times when I need to snuggle tight. Like after a particularly interesting meeting with my Expensive Friend. Or after a hard day of work or upon hearing disappointing news. But as a single mom, absent little hugs from my sweet kiddos, I have to find my hugs somewhere else. It's one of the tough parts about being single. I get great comfort from Scripture and in times of prayer with my Savior. Then there are those times when I want Jesus with skin on. Someone to sit by me and hold me and cry with me. Those are the moments when my heart breaks a little more.
Nevertheless, I persevere. I kiss owies and snuggle tight, relying on my Heavenly Father to hold me until someone else will. Lord willing.
5 comments:
Hugs...I pray the Lord continues to strengthen you. Love, Kristie
What an awesome entry from an awesome mom. Am so thankful that you have two sets of arms to hold you... praying for the third. I know it's not a must have.. but it's a would be awesome to have. Get movin' God... get movin'! Love you!!
I wish I had some words of wisdom but you have them all. HE is enough and I will ask Him to send you a godly man who will love you as Christ loves the church and who will love those precious treasures of yours with a fierce love. But in the end, whatever God does...whatever His plan, His timing, His answers....trusting Him for your best and asking Him to minister to the inmost parts of your being on those "snuggle tight" days.
Love,
Holly
I hear you, Deb. Although I am married, my sweet husband just doesn't cut it in so many of my "moments" :) Sometimes I have those moments on the floor of my closet crying out to Jesus, and I so wish I could see Him face to face. But He meets us nevertheless, doesn't He? We pick ourselves up and carry on, hallelujah! Praying for you and your little sweeties! Thanks for the great post.
Thank you for stopping by my blog. It was nice to pop over to your blog and "meet" your beautiful family. This is a beautiful post...prayers that you always feel His comfort when you need it most so that you can give the comfort to those sweet children have who learned will come from their wonderful Mama. God bless, Jennifer
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